Warning: This post is not for anyone who is queasy.

When you are two, spitting up and vomitting are one and the same. Each time you vomit, you comment, “I spit up again.” Since you do not make a distinction between spitting up and vomitting, your mother wonders whether you will be nicer to your baby brother who spits up 24 hours a day.

When you are two, the best place to throw up is in the pile of clean laundry. No matter how many times your mother asks you to throw up in a bowl, in the toilet, or on the dining room floor, something about the pile of clean laundry remains extremely appealing.

When you are four and decide to rinse the bowl in which you vomitted (because you are very conscientious), the best place to empty the contents is in the sink. When your older sister comments that the sink is blocked, you burst into tears because you were only trying to be helpful. Your mother’s response is laughter. It truly is the best medicine.