Brendan: “Mommy, two people have won $10,000 in the Top Foods Monopoly game and one person has won $35,000. You haven’t been to Top Foods in a long time. We can’t win if you don’t go shopping there. We still need to pick up the free tickets that we won.”

Me: “It’s only been about two weeks since I last went there. I have decided that we just aren’t winners.”

Theresa: “Oh, Mommy, it is a sin to despair!”