Humor
Clothing Advice from my Daughter
Catherine: “Mommy, I really like the skirt that you and Theresa made tonight. I like the style and everything. I would buy a skirt like that, but…” Me: “What don’t you like about it?” Catherine: “I like everything about it, but I don’t think that she can wear it to Mass because I think that…
Read MoreBen Who?
Finnian has a wonderful imagination and enjoys pretending that he is a saint, a knight, or a soldier. A few weeks ago, the following conversation took place: Me: “Who are you?” Finnian: “I’m Ben Who.” Me: “You mean Ben Hur?” Finnian: “No, I’m Ben Who.” Me: “Finnian, there is no such person as Ben Who. There is a…
Read MoreHe Usually Knows What We Will Say
After returning from Mass on Sunday, Finnian ran into my room and said, “I was very good at Mass, so I had my throat blessed.” A few minutes later, he returned and the following conversation took place: Finnian (whispering): “Mommy, please may I have a hotdog for lunch.” Me: “Go and ask Daddy.” Finnian (in a…
Read MoreSword Fighting
My little boys enjoy pretending they are knights. This morning, as I lie in bed, feeling dizzy, they are pretending to be knights, blowing their horns and sword fighting. A few minutes ago, the following was heard from the hallway: Finnian: “Oh, I am wounded.” Catherine: “Go see Mommy and she will bandage you up.”…
Read MoreGuilty
As I was teaching the children the other day, my youngest son wandered in and stated, “I don’t have nothing. I don’t have nothing Mommy. I don’t have nothing behind my back.” He had a screwdriver behind his back, but he was being honest because he used a double negative.
Read MoreWhat Constitutes an Emergency?
Patrick: “Mommy, Mommy, it’s an emergency! It’s an emergency!” Mommy (heading to the kitchen to see): “What’s wrong?” Patrick: “Daddy’s been taking some of the goldfish to work.”
Read MoreGood Night
Daddy (to the older children): “Good night, sleep tight, see that the bed bugs don’t bite.” Finnian: “Good night bugs. Don’t bite me.” Mommy: “The bugs won’t bite you.” Daddy: “The bugs won’t bite you, but the hippopotamus might.” Finnian: “Good night bugs. Bugs won’t bite me. Good night hippopotamus. Hippopotamus won’t bite me. Good…
Read MoreOur Little Mother
A few nights ago, as Theresa helped me make dinner, we heard fighting coming from the boys’ room. Theresa left my side and walked down the hall. Her eldest sister overheard her say, “Now, now, now, what’s going on? Let me sort this out. Patrick, what did you do?”
Read MoreWhy One Should Refrain from Doing Science Experiments in Front of Young Children
Yesterday, after Catherine had finished her Science experiment, I asked her to clean up. As usual, she did so right away. A little while later, I heard some noises in the kitchen and assumed that someone had decided to help me with the dishes. However, when I heard giggling coming from the kitchen, I knew…
Read MoreRefrigerator Alliteration
Me: “Patrick, please close the refrigerator.” Patrick: “But I am feasting on feta.” Me: “Patrick, please get out of the refrigerator.” Patrick: “I am munching on meat.”
Read MoreThe Way She Thinks
Theresa: “I have decided that I want to do Ballet again next year.” Bernadette: “Oh, now that the show is over, have you decided that you like it.” Theresa: “No, I just want to collect as many different costumes as I can.”
Read MoreFrom the Mouth of a Child
Recently, Patrick attended his sisters’ dress rehearsal for Ballet with me. The lead was played by, Julianna, the older sister of my daughters’ friends. When the prince came on stage, Patrick, my very masculine little boy, turned to me and in a disgusted voice stated, “Mommy, that man with Julianna is wearing sticky pants with…
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